Wednesday, July 22, 2015

37 Times You Know You're a Parent

Parenthood changes you - physically, mentally and emotionally. Priorities shift, emotions intensify, marriages evolve.

And tolerance for bodily functions increases tenfold.

After just seven months, I’ve gone from an aversion to blood and vomit, to now deciding whether or not to shower or change clothes based not on IF I was pooped, peed or puked on, but on the amount that is still on me. So there's that.

Note the vomit on my shoulder. #dontcare

Whether it’s catching puke midstream with my hand before it hits someone in the face, or recognizing the warm (yet not fuzzy) feeling spreading across my stomach while nursing – these are the moments where I think, "You're definitely a parent."

I asked other parents when they had this same revelation. Their answers left me equal parts entertained, horrified and frightened.

Spoiler alert: Being a parent involves a lot of poop. Can you relate?

Photo Credit: lifecreations via Compfight cc
You Know You're a Parent When...
  1. You'd rather stay home on Saturday night than wake up at 6am to nurse a baby AND a hangover.
  2. You celebrate bowel movements with a "poop dance."
  3. You don’t think twice about pushing on your boobs in public to see how full you are.
  4. You want to kick the person’s ass that coined the saying, "Sleeping like a baby." It should be switched to, "Sleeping like my 80-pound Labrador Retriever on a Tempur-Pedic bed."
  5. You accidentally tell your co-workers you'll be ready for lunch after you go "potty."
  6. You institute a "no bodily functions" rule at the dinner table.
  7. You find yourself alone in the kitchen at night softly singing "Old McDonald" as you do dishes.
  8. You find yourself saying "Oh, good, it's just vomit."
  9. Your husband asks if you want to have a "quickie," and you think he said "cookie." You’re disappointed because you would prefer the cookie.
  10. You learn to shower with people watching you.
  11. You sniff your baby's butt multiple times a day and think nothing of it.
  12. You leave the house and find pacifiers in your pockets.
  13. The 10pm showing of a new movie is too late for date night.
  14. You use the restroom with a kid in your lap.
  15. You know the pain of stepping on a Lego.
  16. You and your spouse create a swear jar just so your kiddo doesn't repeat that four-letter word to his Sunday school teacher...again.
  17. The most revered object in the household is the hairdryer. Not because you give a damn what your hair looks like, but because it's the only thing that can get your baby to stop crying and fall asleep.
  18. You poop with the door open.
  19. You're singing along to the Frozen soundtrack, then realize you're in the car alone.
  20. Getting poop on your hand—or anywhere else—doesn’t faze you.
  21. You know precisely how to "extract" a hard poop ball from your child.
  22. You have groceries in the cart, and you're totally okay with leaving them in the aisle, so you can assist your screaming child out of the store.
  23. You find yourself swaying and rocking, no matter where you are—or if there is a baby in your arms.
  24. Food falls out of your bra when you undress at the end of the day...and it wasn't food you ate.
  25. You find boogers on your curtains.
  26. You learn to bribe your children with everyday tasks. "If you pick up your blocks before bed, you get to brush your teeth!"
  27. You keep watching kid shows after the kids go to bed.
  28. Going to work on Monday sounds like a vacation.
  29. You buy clothes for yourself based on how easily puke will wash out.
  30. You hear a baby cry in the store and instantly start rocking your shopping cart.
  31. You hide to eat a snack because you don't want to share.
  32. Your trip to the gynecologist is your idea of "girl time!"
  33. You make up songs… for everything.
  34. You consider 7AM sleeping in.
  35. You pretend to use the bathroom just so you can play on your phone for a few minutes without being bothered.
  36. You know where all the drive-thru Starbucks are in your city since you frequent them daily driving baby around for nap.
  37. You can fall and stay asleep in almost any position.
When was a moment that you realized you were in the thick of parenthood?

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Liam {7 Months Old}

Stats
We don't have a well visit until September, but we think Liam probably weighs about 18.5 lbs, and is about 27 inches long.
Likes
  • YELLING! He screams and yells and squeals and it is the cutest thing ever. (See video)
  • Blowing air between his lips...see short video below, but it is adorable!
  • Eating, especially now that we've started solids. There is not much he won't try! He loves sweet potatoes, peaches, bananas and squash. We also give him table food at restaurants, like french fries (LOVES), hummus, avocado, etc. He gets supremely pissed when you eat in front of him and he gets nothing...it's hilarious and annoying at the same time.
  • Music - any toy that plays music and lights up, he is all in.
  • When I sing "You are my Sunshine."
  • Peek-a-boo. I hide behind the counter, jump up and yell, "PEEK!" and it scares the crap out of him. Then he laughs...and sometimes cries :) (See video)
  • Being high in the air - Daddy lifts him up and they "fly," or we count to 3 and "throw" him, and Bryan puts him on his shoulders, and Liam just squeals.
  • Exploring - child will not/does not sit still, unless he is being put down to sleep.
  • Details like labels and jewelry and zippers and shoelaces
  • Baths. Otherwise known as "nakey baby time" - nothing new here!
  • His Daddy. He is so happy and excited when he gets home from work. He turns to find him if he's not holding him. Makes my heart melt!

Dislikes
  • HATES being on the changing table. There are tears before we even lay him  on it, so we've taken to changing his diaper on the floor.
  • Not having food to eat when others are eating. Gone are the days of taking him out to eat with us and him being super chill. We'll still take him out, but he must be in on the food action. Or else!
  • Hand dryers and toilets. Any time I have to change him in a public restroom, I hate it, and so does Liam. The loud dryers and toilets scare the crap out of him!
New Milestones/Skills

  • First tooth! Teething hasn't been TOO terrible. 4th of July weekend was rough (that's when we started with the swollen gums, etc) but  for the past few weeks, he's been totally normal! He has needed ibuprofen to help him sleep some nights. Sunday, I did my tooth check and could feel that one of your front teeth had cut through! Your second one is on it's way!
  • Army crawling! He is very quick and moves everywhere. He's also close to crawling on all fours, and gets into push-up/plank position.
  • Learning how to kiss, clap and wave "bye bye"! We're trying to teach him these ourselves, so stay tuned for next month!
  • So many consonant sounds - "mmm" "thhhh" "ba"...we hope to hear a word soon! :)

Firsts
  • Visit to the zoo
  • Swim in the big boy pool (see video)
  • Time at the lake
  • Sleepover in a hotel
Eating
Still pretty much exclusively breastfed, although I have been supplementing with some formula as of late so I can stash some milk for you to have while we are in South America.
Just had some raspberries!
 You have about 5 bottles a day, and eat solids 2-3x a day. You LOVE any solid food. Green veggies are your least favorite (join the club!)

Sleeping
Liam is awesome at sleeping these days! He officially moved out of the beloved Magic Sleep Suit. We envisioned a much worse transition than actually happened, so thank you, my love, for surprising us yet again. He goes to bed at 7:30pm and wakes up between 7 and 7:30am most days. Some days we get a nice 6-6:30am wake-up, but that usually happens when we put him to bed too late night before. He's still taking 3 naps most days, but has also only taken two a few times before.
Since sleeping in a sack vs that suit, he sleeps on his side or belly (which is SO adorable) and can also find his own paci. We have really only needed to go in to him at night if he can't find the paci for some reason, or if he's upset about something (like teething).
Videos

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Pure Michigan + Cute Babies + Great Friends= Perfect Weekend

Apparently I have a thing for mid-week weekend updates because I can't get my shit together on Mondays. Wamp wamp.
Grady, Stetson, Harvey and Liam!


We spent last weekend in Michigan with three of my best friends and their sons/husbands for our 2nd Annual Friends Family Weekend. Last year, we were all preggo in Nashville and this year, we all had our boys together.
July 2014 (Sara, 14 weeks; Me, 16 weeks; Annie, 32 weeks; Britt, 22 weeks)

Crazy the difference, a year makes, yes?

July 2015 (Grady, 10 months; Harvey, 6 months; Stetson, 8 months; Liam, 6 months)


I'm going to keep the actual recap short and sweet: It was the best time! We rented a in Southwestern Michigan and we had a private beach, a pool, a grill, a nice outdoor area, and we were not too far from civilization where we could go into town and do some things.
Liam dipped his feet in Lake Michigan. It was chilly, but he loved it!

The guys went golfing one morning, and miraculously, the boys were on similar eating/sleeping schedules, so we were able to get out of the house on Saturday afternoon to go to a winery, which was so great. After the boys went to bed, we had good old fashioned adult fun drinking beers and playing games!
Men & babies = SEXY!

It was just really wonderful to get out of the hustle and bustle, cuddle each other's babies (and our own), get the boys playing together (big and small boys ;) ), stage ridiculous photo shoots, and just catch up. Nothing like quality time with good friends!
love these ladies!

Again, I'm going to let pictures speak for themselves. Beware: there is so much cuteness, you might die.
The heat in the pool was broken unfortunately, but Liam was 
a brave soul and loved the water! (For a few minutes.) He & Stetson
were twinning, and Harvey snoozed in the sun!

At Round Barn Winery


 Grady refused to crack a smile, and kept grabbing his nearby buddies.

Finally, a small smile from Grady :)

Stetson stole Liam's pacifier. Hilarious!

Summer is not slowing down any - from now until October, we have VERY few weekends where one or all of us aren't booked with something. All good of course - it's just life. And it's a good "problem" to have!

Hope everyone else had a great weekend --- we're almost to the next!