4 things I don’t want to forget about quarantine
There’s a lot I want to forget about the year 2020. (I mean, almost the whole thing, at this point.) But there’s a few things I don’t.
On March 18, we began our time in quarantine. Quarantine in this sense meaning that we were under a strict stay-at-home order, which mandated that aside from going out for essentials or walks/exercise outdoors, and unless we had to go work for an essential service, we were all encouraged to stay home.
Bryan and I began working from home. (More accurately, we stopped going to the office.) The boys stopped going to daycare. For 12 weeks and 80-some-odd days, we worked, learned, ate, slept, played and shopped from our home.
On June 3, Chicago joined the rest of Illinois, and many other states, in the next phase of our gradual reopening. For us, this meant that certain non-essential stores could re-open (nail salons, hair salons and retail stores, for example), restaurants with outdoor seating could re-open, and so could daycares.
On June 8, we sent our boys back to daycare, thus effectively ending our time together in quarantine. (Sending them back is a whole other post to come. Also to note: We will still be largely at home, but reintroducing ourselves to society in way that feels safe for us and others.)
In any case, there are some thoughts I wanted to jot down about our time together in quarantine, for memory sake mostly. So much changes on a daily basis—from information to emotions.
1. How sweet Connor was/is. But I don’t want to forget the cuteness. I don’t want to forget how every day, he puts his chin in his hands and says, “What we do today, mom?” I don’t want to forget his manners. “Fank you mom,” when I’ve only said “good morning.” How he stops mid-whatever he’s busy doing, leans his head against me and says “luh you mom.” He makes the cutest little sounds, like “mmmm” or “deep” and gives you a little hug or a boop on the nose. How when he’s mad and you ask him a question, he yells, “NUFING!” even if you just asked why he’s upset. He’s almost three (the worst age, in my opinion), so for now, I want to remember this sweetness—even if veiled in some sassiness.
2. How the kids would act when we left the house. Our family is active - we are used to being out and about on the weekends, and even the week, whether it was going to dinner, the zoo, taking a weekend trip, etc. Obviously, those options were removed from us at the beginning of March. As more and more time when on, when we would venture out, whether for a drive, or to pick up some dinner, or even for a walk. It was like, they’d never seen the world before, or other people. Or you know, like we’d been locked up for months. “Wow, look, a lake!” “Wow, look at that tall building!” (points to a gas station). “Hello!” to every stranger on the street, striking up conversation. Literally everything and anything outside of our home, they were excited about it. It made me both smile and feel utterly sad.
3. How we made the best of it. Like I said, our family is active. So, when it came to keeping busy and changing things up, while also following the rules and keeping ourselves safe during quarantine, we had to get creative. We took a lot of drives to pick up meals in other towns. Once, we drove to Chili’s in Skokie (about 20 minutes away) and that was REALLY exciting! We did scavenger hunts outside on walks. We made up games. We made houses out of cardboard boxes. We did 1000-piece puzzles. We drove to various cities in and around Illinois for hikes and scooters. We found houses in the neighborhood with interesting things to look at, like dinosaurs eating a virus or the house with a blow-up animal for every holiday out at one time. We ordered fancy dinners in and got dressed up for things like Easter and Mother’s Day. We had picnics in parks and on our roof. We washed the car. We watched animals live at the zoo. We watched airplanes. We danced. We did science experiments. We found empty parking lots and claimed them as ours. We did what we could to normalize a very not-normal situation, and I think we did a pretty damn good job.
4. How hard it was. Despite the sweet moments. Despite the kids’ spontaneous and even overall happiness. Despite how good of a job we did trying to normalize a terrible situation. I never want to forget how insanely hard it was. The anxiety and stress about what the next day would bring. Waking up in the morning with a weight on my chest, worried about how much I would be able to accomplish for work that day, while also keeping the boys happy. The stress of wondering how much longer Bryan or I would have our jobs. Working until 2-3 in the morning on multiple occasions, but averaging midnight, most nights. Crying, for no reason, and all the reasons. The constant tension. The overwhelming want to do anything I could for my boys to make things happy, whether it was “skip" work and take them outside to play, or buy them a new toy to see them smile. Muting work phone calls and taking myself off video to scream at everybody to “BE QUIET, I’M TALKING TO A CLIENT!” Being asked how I was, and fighting back tears. Spending so much together, but having little of it equate to family time, you know? Attentions were divided, constantly. It was so. freaking. hard. To parent, to work, to be a wife, a friend, a daughter, to take care of myself. But, alas. We did it. We can do hard things.
I will, for so many strange reasons, cherish those 12 weeks and 80-some-odd days that we stayed at home together. Love you, fam.