Hometown Heros: The Bachelorette Recap

Hey guys. Sorry I missed you last week...things have been chaotic around here with it being the busy summer season! James and Alex went home, which was no surprise to anyone.

HOMETOWNS always promise to deliver on both the drama and the weird factor. For those of you who follow me on SnapChat, I did another Snap story while I watched tonight. (Follow me at rachelzf).

Here's the gist of my thoughts:

Chase's Hometown
I feel like we've gone this whole season without knowing Chase. Who he is, why he's here, what JoJo sees in him. And then tonight we see Chase say more in a 20 minute clip than we've seen the WHOLE season, and guess what? I liked him! He seemed to have a little personality, and he was sweet and down-to-earth, is a little damaged (just what JoJo likes) and of course, is easy on the eyes. WHY have the producers kept him from us until now? I don't think he's winning, but now I'm not as shocked that he's still here.

HOWEVER. Are we really supposed to believe that Chase has never talked to his dad about the divorce and how it affected him until this moment...on national TV...with his fake girlfriend? The "divorce" was definitely Chase's story this date, as it was ALL anyone has talked about. Save it for therapy, guys.

Jordan's Hometown
JoJo is in Chico, California, a faraway land where deer frolic freely. Why can't JoJo stop yelling at the deer?

So much to say about this date, starting with this: Jordan's full of shit and he and JoJo have ZERO chance of lasting. Also, taking JoJo to his high school is SO LAST SEASON! And how boring. I'll never understand the high school nostalgia. If you're wishing for the glory days, then I think that says something about your current state of mind. We're different people in high school than we are as adults, so again...I don't get it. To say nothing of the fact that it was TOTES inappropriate to make out all over the school in front of the children! But the most interesting fact to me was seeing Jordan's high school football pictures. He was also #12! Aaron is #12 for the Packers! Maybe the big family feud is over a football number!?

JoJo keeps pushing the Aaron conversation and Jordan couldn't make it more clear that he's not interested in talking about it. (Are you SURE you don't talk? Are you SURE I'm not going to meet Olivia Munn? Are you SURE?) He even says it doesn't need to be a topic of conversation with his family. So when JoJo and Jordan pull up to his beautiful GREEN house (symbolic for the Green Bay Packers?) to meet the family and Aaron is ALL they talk about...it struck me as odd.

To me, JoJo is not so secretly disappointed that she's not meeting a sports superstar and his celebrity girlfriend, but she insists she just wants to see Jordan happy and she can tell that not having a relationship "hurts" her man. How do you gather, JoJo, considering you've only ever know Jordan as NOT having a relationship with Aaron? If I'm Aaron Rodgers, I'm pissed for my family throwing me under the bus on national TV! I don't know what the story is there, but Aaron isn't looking great. I heard on a podcast I listen to that the Rodgers family didn't like the way Olivia Munn talked openly about her and Aaron's sex life, but that seems like a CRAZY reason to cut ties.

My first impression of Luke Rodgers is that he has 3rd brother syndrome. AKA, he's the worst looking. And their dad? Has the LONGEST (tallest?!) head I think I've ever seen. And why is Darla calling her son "Spicy"?

I still think JoJo picks JoRo, but the fact that every time JoJo talks to him, he tells him that she's scared he's not into this "forever" tells me that her gut is telling her NO. Her vagina and the fame whore within are saying something else.

Robby's Hometown
I can't get into Robby, I just can't. He's too pretty, too preppy, too sleazy. JoJo continues to be worried that it's only been 4 months since he ended his relationship with his girlfriend of 4 years, and she should be. In fact, she basically gave him an out on their date, telling him that she's been in that position before and it's OK if she's just "filling a void." Um. What?

Robby has a huge family full of perfect-looking people and my mom-dar picked up how his mother touched him, which I found inappropriate in a super creepy way. Lingering arm touch type things. Kill me if I touch Liam like that on national TV.

Robby's mom tells him that rumors have been circulating about him and his ex - namely that his ex's roommate is saying he broke up with her to go on show. (BECAUSE HE DID!) Robby immediately tells JoJo, and AGAIN - she gives him an out, basically begging him to tell her "the truth." Anyone else think she's looking for a reason to ditch him?

Luke's Hometown
Back in Texas, JoJo meets up with Luke. My bestie Mandy gave me the blog content gold:
"The only thing with Luke is I feel like he is the human version of Beavis from Beavis and Butt head."
How fucking amazing and spot on is that?! I got a kick out of it, anyway. But yeah, Luke...Luke is too nice for JoJo. She likes drama and bad boys and Luke is not either. Case in point why I think it will come down to Robby or Jordan.

Luke and his family are so sweet to her, Luke (aka the producers) pulls out all the stops for a romantic one-on-one time with JoJo and there's a vibe the whole time that something is off with her. He's pouring her heart out, she's looking away...it was uncomfortable how uncomfortable she was. I think he might be done for and I also think he might be the next Bachelor.

Rose Ceremony
In true Bachelorette form, we've seen previews of JoJo having a complete meltdown at tonight's ceremony. She tells the camera she's getting rid of Luke but in a predictable turn of events, Luke pulls her aside to tell her he's not just FALLING in love with her, but he's IN love with her. Instead of letting him go then and there, she thanks him and let's him think he has a chance.

Does he though? Oh wait, we don't know because, it's TO BE CONFUCKINGTINUED!


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