The Family Takes the Rose: Bachelorette Recap

Happy Monday, friends. Or, at the time you read this, Tuesday morning.

It's hometown dates on the Bachelorette, which typically makes for lots of awkward situations. Let's hope Des & the boys don't disappoint.

We kick things off in Dallas with Zak's family. The dates starts off with Des and Zak driving around the "family" sno cone truck. If I was Des, I'd run out of fear that my future would take place in said Sno Cone Truck, but that's just me.

I don't know if Zak's getting a rose, but his family should! I thought they were kinda awesome off the bat. That is until Zak and his siblings started singing a song. THEY SANG A FREAKING SONG, you guys. Granted, his brother and sister can sing, but I think that was taking the fame seeking a BIT far. After the horse and pony show, Zak tells Des he's love with her. Call me a sucker, but I cried. It has taken me until this episode to feel like I really like Zak, and now I want him to go all the way. I fear my dreams will not come true.

Drew's up next in Scottsdale. And YES, finally, we get the run and jump hug that I wait for every hometown date. First, Des and Drew go to see Drew's sister, who's severely mentally handicapped. Obviously, no jokes here, and honestly, I give Des props. I'm sure it's not easy to meet someone with a disability that severe and to do so with grace. Next they head to see Drew's huge family, which I can appreciate, since my parents are divorced, remarried, etc. Nothing too out of the ordinary on this hometown...everyone got along, everyone liked each other, Drew said "I love you." Bada bing bada boom.

Over to Oregon for Chris' hometown, which was, probably one of the weirder dates we've seen. All season we've heard about how if Chris' family doesn't like Desiree, it's a deal breaker. So first, Des goes down to get adjusted by Chris' chiropractor dad. The first thing that came to mind was "face down, ass up, that's the way we like to f..." I'll let you fill in the rest. Anyway, the family approves, yada yada...another boring hometown. Anyone disappointed by the lack of drama yet?!

And then we get to Brooks. Des says (again) that she loves Brooks, so I can't help but wonder what we're still doing here, but then again, it's TV. I also can't help but think this is foreshadowing at its finest, and sometime soon, Brooks is going to break Des' heart. In fact, the tables are turned a little bit here, because Des seems to be convincing him of their relationship and feelings, rather than the other way around. We'll see. Brooks is seeking serious confirmation from his million family members. Sidenote: Is Brooks wasted in his ITMs?  Brooks' mom gives her seal of approval, which is all he wants so...winner winner chicken dinner?

All of these dudes have really nice houses, by the way. After all of these boring dates, I really have no idea who she's sending home, but I have a bad feeling it's Zak.

Finally, something interesting happens: Her train wreck of a brother shows up. Interesting that Des hasn't seen her brother since the whole "Sean ordeal." These two are super weird together, and I think you can tell that they aren't close at all. Des runs through the list of what she likes about each one and her brother couldn't be less interested.

Ugh, here we go with another sit down with Chris Harrision. Fast forward...wait hold on. She straight up says she is hoping for a proposal from Brooks. I don't get it.

And over to the photos because she can't remember four guys who "love" her. Anyway, the best part of this whole damn show comes when all the guys are walking in, and we see her creepy ass brother lurking around the corner! I laughed out loud, legitimately. God this show is lame.

Rose ceremony time: Zak goes home. BOO! I feel bad for him, and Desiree does a horrible job of explaining anything. ZAK FOR BACHELOR!

Next week, everyone is in love and can see themselves with Des...cut to Des very upset about it Brooks breaking her heart!?

That's all I got guys. Who is going to win?! Resisting temptation to read Reality Steve right now...


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