Carpe Diem

If you've been keeping up with me this summer, you'll know that it's no easy feat considering I've been all frickin' over the place since Memorial Day. Next weekend (August 9-11) is the literally the only free weekend I've got until after Labor Day. - May you travel as far and often this summer as Anthony Weiner's crotch shots. 

I had big plans to do a 7-day cleanse in preparation for my BFF's wedding on August 17 (!!) and to generally do a whole lot of NOTHING.

That is until today, when I decided to throw those plans out the window and go visit my bestie in L.A. As my girl Taylor says, "when life gives you a weekend..." (Since that's all she said, I'll fill in the blank and say "YOLO.")

Seize the day, people. Seize the frickin' day.
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I Told You So.

I'd like to start this post by addressing all of my faithful Bachelorette recap readers and saying,

"I told you so."

Who watched last night? There's not much to talk about except the dramarama that went down, NOT with Drew, like we were shown in previews, but with BROOKS.

I've learned a lot after watching this show like an asshole for the past however many years. The first thing I've learned is that typically, whatever they show you in previews has been twisted and manipulated is NOT what you should believe happens. The second is that they tend to use foreshadowing a lot (so progressive).

I told you in more than one recap that I could tell they were foreshadowing something happening with Brooks, mainly because Des was openly talking about how she loved him, and how she could see him at the end of all this. First: They don't "allow" the bachelor/bachelorettes to share how they really feel about people on this show until the Final Rose. And if they do share feelings off camera, they certainly don't show those clips. Also, did you really think they'd show her saying that she wanted Brooks to propose if he actually did? Hell no.

For those who didn't watch, don't keep reading, cuz I'm about to spoil what happened: Brooks dumped Des.

After two lovely one-on-one dates, we went with Brooks to visit his mom and sister, where he talked about how he was confused that he wasn't in love with Des yet. I was confused as to why NO ONE mentioned the fact that he's only known her for 10 weeks, and that it's NORMAL to not be in love yet. He said he didn't feel comfortable proposing at the end of all this if he wasn't in love yet, which makes TOTAL sense. What I don't get is why he didn't just tell Des, "I'm not going to be ready to propose, but I still want to be in this with you," and see what she said. I bet it'd have gone over a lot more smoothly than what actually went down.

What ACTUALLY went down was a whole lot of effing crazy. Blubbering "I'm sorry's" and "I love you's" and bleeping and tears...lots and lots of tears...she was crying, he was crying, she was hyperventilating, he was snotting. It was really drawn out and unnecessary, much like most things on the show. Brooks finally leaves, and Desiree tells us that basically, it's over for her, because even though Chris and Drew love her, she doesn't love them. Then we see Des walk quickly to the dock, covering her face, probably because she wishes she was wearing a belly shirt.

So what happens now? I find it very hard to believe that next week will go on as normal. There's no way she can say the things she's said and then the next week say she'll marry another dude. My hypothesis? Brooks comes back, or she goes home from Antigua and takes some time with things. I don't know. For some reason, I don't think she ends up with no one, even though that's what they are making it look like.

Still think Chris is the one she picks...unless Brooks comes back, and then we know what happens.

Until then...
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Humiliation: Thy Name is Rachel Zupek

Happy hump day! My days are all mixed up due to my recent 4-day weekend and work from home day yesterday. Now that I'm actually in the office again, I am reminded exactly how strongly I believe that working is for the birds.

Speaking of work, you probably don't know that I started my career as a communications specialist at, where I wrote job search advice articles for MSN, CNN and AOL. Needless to say, it was a great way to start my career and boost my resume. (A Google search for "rachel zupek careerbuilder" will bring you to any number of said articles.)

This job also came with a lot of criticism. I got lots of hate mail, telling me that I was stupid and didn't know what I was talking about. Fair enough, considering I was 23, in my first job, and advising people on their careers when I had just begun my own. But they didn't know that.

My favorite of said pieces of mail came in the form of a blog post titled, "CareerBuilder Can Blow Me," by someone named Prattle On, Boyo, and with the following graphic:

He was writing in response to an article I wrote called Is To Whom It May Concern the Kiss of Death? In this article, I advised people to always try to find a real person to address your cover letter to. This is not malarky—this is real advice that I still give to people, and follow myself, today.

He starts by asking "what kind of weed [I] was smoking because clearly, it wasn’t quality stuff or else [I] would know what any stoner, or, for that matter, what anyone who has ever had to look for a job already does."

The best part:

Hey Rachel? Listen babe,  maybe you  previously worked in an HR Department (this would explain your cluelessness); or maybe you are simply a freshly minted college grad, and, Uncle Richie knew the hiring manager at the company and, that’s how you got your first job EVAH. But I have to tell you that dispensing the kind of idiotic guidance you did today with your bitchin’, 1980 Way Back Advice Generator Device to job seekers facing double digit national unemployment numbers was like showing up to an Obama rally dressed in your best Klan linen. You were lucky all you received was a civilized lambasting. What you deserved was to be hanged, drawn and quartered.

You can't make this stuff up. He then tells me to "pull my head out of my ass" and later, calls me a "silly twat."

But it gets better! He wrote this first post sometime in February 2010, which is also when I started at my current company. In SEPTEMBER 2010, he wrote yet another blog post about me, entitled: Humiliation, Thy Name is Rachel Zupek.

In this rant, he points out that after he "lambasted" me, I removed my name from the blog and replaced it with "CareerBuilder Blogger." Then he says:

"I like to think that she was so friggen humiliated for writing such a fucktarded advice column that she was reeling from embarrassment to the extent where she felt compelled to redact her credentials....Let’s hope that Ms. Zupek has decided to permanently refrain from writing worthless job seeking tips and found a more productive way to utilize her writing skills."

These posts still make me laugh for many reasons, but mainly because this guy cares so much about me and my writing career to take the time to write about me, not once, but twice. And also that he thinks he had any power whatsoever over me, and what I write. AS IF I would remove my name from an article because this nobody didn't agree with what I wrote. In reality, my name was removed from the blog because I no longer worked there. Not because I was fired or humiliated, but because I took my own CRAZY advice and found the name hiring manager of my current company, and sent her my application. It's so weird, I got a response—AND the job. Take that, Prattle.

Just wanted to entertain with you this piece of gold. And Prattle, if you're reading, thank you for your concern. I think you'll be happy to know that I am still writing, pretty successfully I might add, and I am trying my best not to do it in a "fucktarded" manner.

If you're stopping by from The Daily Tay, welcome! Sit and stay awhile!
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The Family Takes the Rose: Bachelorette Recap

Happy Monday, friends. Or, at the time you read this, Tuesday morning.

It's hometown dates on the Bachelorette, which typically makes for lots of awkward situations. Let's hope Des & the boys don't disappoint.

We kick things off in Dallas with Zak's family. The dates starts off with Des and Zak driving around the "family" sno cone truck. If I was Des, I'd run out of fear that my future would take place in said Sno Cone Truck, but that's just me.

I don't know if Zak's getting a rose, but his family should! I thought they were kinda awesome off the bat. That is until Zak and his siblings started singing a song. THEY SANG A FREAKING SONG, you guys. Granted, his brother and sister can sing, but I think that was taking the fame seeking a BIT far. After the horse and pony show, Zak tells Des he's love with her. Call me a sucker, but I cried. It has taken me until this episode to feel like I really like Zak, and now I want him to go all the way. I fear my dreams will not come true.

Drew's up next in Scottsdale. And YES, finally, we get the run and jump hug that I wait for every hometown date. First, Des and Drew go to see Drew's sister, who's severely mentally handicapped. Obviously, no jokes here, and honestly, I give Des props. I'm sure it's not easy to meet someone with a disability that severe and to do so with grace. Next they head to see Drew's huge family, which I can appreciate, since my parents are divorced, remarried, etc. Nothing too out of the ordinary on this hometown...everyone got along, everyone liked each other, Drew said "I love you." Bada bing bada boom.

Over to Oregon for Chris' hometown, which was, probably one of the weirder dates we've seen. All season we've heard about how if Chris' family doesn't like Desiree, it's a deal breaker. So first, Des goes down to get adjusted by Chris' chiropractor dad. The first thing that came to mind was "face down, ass up, that's the way we like to f..." I'll let you fill in the rest. Anyway, the family approves, yada yada...another boring hometown. Anyone disappointed by the lack of drama yet?!

And then we get to Brooks. Des says (again) that she loves Brooks, so I can't help but wonder what we're still doing here, but then again, it's TV. I also can't help but think this is foreshadowing at its finest, and sometime soon, Brooks is going to break Des' heart. In fact, the tables are turned a little bit here, because Des seems to be convincing him of their relationship and feelings, rather than the other way around. We'll see. Brooks is seeking serious confirmation from his million family members. Sidenote: Is Brooks wasted in his ITMs?  Brooks' mom gives her seal of approval, which is all he wants so...winner winner chicken dinner?

All of these dudes have really nice houses, by the way. After all of these boring dates, I really have no idea who she's sending home, but I have a bad feeling it's Zak.

Finally, something interesting happens: Her train wreck of a brother shows up. Interesting that Des hasn't seen her brother since the whole "Sean ordeal." These two are super weird together, and I think you can tell that they aren't close at all. Des runs through the list of what she likes about each one and her brother couldn't be less interested.

Ugh, here we go with another sit down with Chris Harrision. Fast forward...wait hold on. She straight up says she is hoping for a proposal from Brooks. I don't get it.

And over to the photos because she can't remember four guys who "love" her. Anyway, the best part of this whole damn show comes when all the guys are walking in, and we see her creepy ass brother lurking around the corner! I laughed out loud, legitimately. God this show is lame.

Rose ceremony time: Zak goes home. BOO! I feel bad for him, and Desiree does a horrible job of explaining anything. ZAK FOR BACHELOR!

Next week, everyone is in love and can see themselves with Des...cut to Des very upset about it Brooks breaking her heart!?

That's all I got guys. Who is going to win?! Resisting temptation to read Reality Steve right now...
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Happy 4th of July!

Hey pretties! I'm headed off on vacation after work today, but not before wishing all of you a safe, happy 4TH OF JULY!

This is one of my favorite holidays. I have so many great memories of being up at Lake Okoboji with my cousins, or Lake of the Ozarks with my family. It's just an awesome time of year to celebrate our freedoms with family, friends, sun, water, fireworks, and of course, beer!

I will be back on Monday with an epic recap for you from my bachelorette party this week.

What are you up to this weekend?


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