St. Patrick's Day Survival Guide

Happy Friday, ya'll!

This weekend is St. Patrick's Day and everyone knows there is no better place to be on St. Patrick's Day than Chicago. Not even Ireland. I've been there. Not on St. Patrick's Day, granted, but I kinda think when you're Ireland, every day is St. Patrick's Day.

In honor of Flashback Friday, I thought I'd recount St. Patty's Day past with some photos & tips I've gleaned after 7 years of St. Patty's in Chicago.

But first, a story. In 2009, Bryan and I thought we'd have a boozy breakfast at our place before heading out to the bars. We went all out: green beer, green bagels, green bowls. And, my dad's famous Bloody Mary's. I pre-made the drinks so they'd be all ready in the morning. One less thing to do, ya know? I followed his recipe, which calls for a good amount of vodka, pretty closely. But as I was taste testing the batch, I found them to be lacking in vodka, so I added a lot bit more.

The next morning, a bunch of peeps came over and we all got shitty before noon. I managed to drop my phone in the toilet somewhere around 10am, and since we didn't have rice, I thought I'd try to dry things out in a bowl of pasta. That's the last thing I remember.

2009. This is are the "pre-blackout" photos." Also, it's unclear why I'm so tan.

Next thing I know, I wake up on my bed, on top of all the covers and Bryan is next to me. (Don't worry, it wasn't like that.). I have no idea what time it is, why we're here or where anyone else is. What has happened? Was I roofied at my own party? Is it possible to black out before noon? WHAT IS GOING ON.
 When I came to. WHAT IS GOING ON.

Given the whole dropping the phone in the toilet situation, I also couldn't get a hold of anyone. By some miracle, apparently the pasta worked because I tried it one more time, and EUREKA! I had about 100 texts. I called my friends, and went to meet them at a nearby bar determined to find out what the hell happened to me. It was like the movie the Hangover, before it was even made. I should get some royalties for this shit.



All anyone could tell me was that I had told everyone I was going to say goodbye to Addy (the dog), and 3 hours later, Bryan and I still hadn't shown up. To this day, Bryan and I have no idea what happened that morning. The best part of this story? I blacked out for a second time later in the evening. Are you proud, Mom?

So, given this experience and all the others you'll see below, here is my advice to survive St. Patty's in Chicago:
  1. If you attend or host boozy breakfast, eat. If you don't this will lead to drunk eyes, beer goggles and blackouts.
  2. Don't drink hard alcohol. Stay away from the shots of Jameson, kids. Far, far away. Get the wristband for the unlimited, albeit shitty, green beer, and stick with it. You're welcome.
  3. Everyone looks better when they're tan. See above photos. This applies to all holidays.
This year, the plan is to do another boozy breakfast (at a bar this time) and get drunk enough to be able to tolerate all the 19-year-olds that are sure to be swarming any and every bar in the city. And I can't wait.

2007. Bryan and I went to the parade and to see the river, flask of whiskey in hand. If you haven't seen the green river, DO IT!

2008 with Kimmie and Kate, two of my friends who came to visit. 
Apparently, there were not many photos taken that year.

2010 was Mandy's bachelorette party! Way too many memories to recount, but it was basically the best time ever.

2011. I spy parts of the same outfits I wore in 2009, and in 2011, and which I'll probably where again this year.

Last St. Patrick's Day we were at home in Iowa City when my father in law fell ill, but I still got in the spirit, and I was totes twinsies with Sloanie.




















What's everyone up to this weekend?

4 comments:

  1. I just cracked up reading this! 1) St Pattys in Chicago IS the best, and I love that you said everyday in Ireland is St Pattys day, I couldn't agree more and 2) 2009 was SO FUN! And hilarious, as I remember all of that happening. I definitely was in bed by like 7pm that night and 3) I love when I am in pics on your blog, it makes me feel special :) have fun this weekend, wish I could be there!

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  2. oh lord, i went to Savannah's (GA) St. Patrick's celebration as a naive 19 yr old and I don't know HOW I survived drinking Jack all day/night. Love this!

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  3. Tan, everyone looks better tan. I couldn't agree more, if only I could get tan! Haha

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